Group: Hector’s House
Project: Gentle-Man’s Club
Grant: £6,300
Fund: Saving Lives
For Time to Talk Day 2025, we are highlighting the work done by Hector’s House. Hector’s House is a suicide prevention and mental health awareness charity set up by the family of Hector Stringer, who took his own life at just 18 years old. Their mission is to prevent suicide by ensuring everyone has access to mental health services, and to encourage people to talk openly about how they feel through education, awareness and support.
Inspired by the Samaritan’s Handbook for Men’s Wellbeing Services, Hector’s House used a grant from Heart of Bucks to set up Hector’s Gentle-Man’s Club. The club offers a monthly space for men to bond, try new activities, and connect through walks and hikes. Men are twice as likely to die by suicide than women. Hector’s Gentle-Man’s Club is there to spark mental health conversations before crises hit, and provide tools for wellbeing, reducing loneliness, stigma, and suicide risk.
With funding, Hector’s House ran 22 Gentle-Man’s club sessions, alternating between more physical and less physical activities to ensure the sessions were accessible to a wider group of men. Each session began and ended with a mental fitness ‘check in’, allowing the men to score their emotional wellness in an easy way. The club has given the men something to look forward to, and a reason to leave the house in some instances.
The club utilized a local climbing wall on three occasions. This activity saw the men develop a strong sense of connection by offering each other encouragement and sharing responsibility for safety. A bowls club session provided a less physically demanding but more mentally challenging activity, where mistakes and bad bowls were collectively laughed off and successful bowls were universally applauded. Joy was shared with every shot at Foot golf and the driving range, with tactics and advice shared freely, creating a sense of togetherness.
Visits to a local observatory gave the men the opportunity to see some of the cosmos in fine detail. Observing our universe and learning about how it is built imparted a newfound sense of perspective onto the men. Trips to a nearby brewery saw a high turnout for the group, with many of the men beginning to feel they were no longer alone.
By allowing the men to experience a non-judgmental place to talk freely at the end of the sessions, they often felt emotionally lighter and that they were part of a wider community. Many of the men said things aloud they had never discussed before, leading them to feeling less isolated, less stressed and less frustrated in their daily lives. This had a hugely positive impact on their other relationships outside of the sessions. The men saw each other at their most vulnerable and were able to see that vulnerability doesn’t in any way diminish their sense of masculinity or worthiness. This allowed them to alter the relationship they had with their own feelings, and to reassess the standards to which they hold themselves.
Case study
One man attended the group after seeing it advertised on social media. He had recently lost his wife and found it very difficult to talk about his negative thoughts and feelings with the people close to him for fear of “letting them down”. He found that many of the relationships in his life changed dramatically and struggled to adapt. By being among a group that held no expectations of him, he felt he could talk freely and express himself honestly.
After attending many of the groups sessions, he said:
“Over the weeks I’ve realised there’s guys out there with situations I’d deal with and others I’d struggle, but big or small they are their problems and I’ll try to be there to listen and support them as I know they will for me. Thanks to the organisation and guests.”
Time to Talk Day
Time to Talk Day is run by Mind and Rethink Mental Illness in England, in partnership with Co-op. The day is all about creating supportive communities by having conversations with family, friends, or colleagues about mental health. We all have mental health and by talking about it we can support ourselves and others. If you or someone you know is struggling, you can find a list of helplines compiled by Hector’s House here.
Read more of our funding stories here.
